So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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