you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize