I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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