Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
