I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
