That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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