in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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