it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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