I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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