Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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