Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This is my gift to your gina
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
