margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
