Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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