I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
