We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
