Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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