I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
