Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
