Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
operation have a gay friend backfired
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
