this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
