Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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