Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
