I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I have fence marks all over my body
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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