my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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