my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
