YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
