I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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