I want to make a zoo with you.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
