it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
