all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
