i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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