Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
