I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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