too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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