We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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