i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
how does that bad decision feel?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
