I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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