you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
