yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize