He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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