I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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