i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
