i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
