i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
