I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
