I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize