I hate your face
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
