oh god the rape fog is back!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
