Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
