I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
