..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize