yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
