how can u be prego again
what day is it and did you see me today?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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