My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
