We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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