you have to choose: penises or morals?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
