3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize