Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
