his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize