Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
